The current dating scene is a depressing place: too few suitable options and fewer still willing to commit. And far too many tears after yet another less-than-stellar first date. Such things should matter not one whit to me, a happily married year-old grandmother. But they do matter -- a lot. My heart breaks every time I witness, counsel and console my oldest, never-wed daughter in her unsuccessful attempts to find a mate.
Population reports indicate that the age of young adults marrying for the first time is steadily inching toward And while just over half of all American adults in the United States are single, a recent survey by the Pew Research Center found that 61 percent of never-marrieds still hope to have a spouse one day.
That adds up to a lot of unhappily single people under 40 and a lot of anxious boomer parents. And that, experts tell us, can do far more harm than good. And many of these young people grew up in divorced households or had parents who didn't commit fully to one person. One consequence of that is not having a clue about what a healthy relationship -- or commitment -- looks like.
Because so many of this generation work from home or in cubicles or offices where all the work is done at individual computer stations, even professional relationships are less likely to blossom. Falzone, chief executive of eLove Matchmaking , calls it. Idealism is a hallmark of youth, and a terrific quality, but perhaps the generation that was raised to believe the world revolved around their every whim are getting their first taste of reality?
Regardless of the reasons, the key to actually being helpful is doing so in a healthy, non-hovering manner. Do examine your own motives. Do ask your child how you can best offer support. Start by finding out exactly what your child would like from you in her search for a mate. Robyn M. Do listen -- and confirm what you heard. Do model healthy relationships. In a perfect world, you would be in a long-term, emotionally mature loving relationship that your children seek to emulate.
