I have played many games that have great openings. Final Fantasy VII puts you in the middle of a raid. Mass Effect 2 introduces you to a world, then immediately destroys it. Sonic the Hedgehog bombards you with impossibly fast objects hurtling through a world of colourful danger. I have never played a game in my life that starts by telling you not to be a Nazi. Before a single artefact was raided, before a whip was cracked, before you even see lead actor Troy Baker doing his best Harrison Ford impression in next generation graphics amazing!
The story and contents of this game are not intended to and should not be construed in any way to condone, glorify or endorse the beliefs, ideologies, events, actions, persons or behaviour of the Nazi and fascist regimes β¦. Quite apart from their moral repugnancy, they are super dumb. Whether in Vatican City or in Thailand, they are terrible fighters, and so deaf you can crawl right past them. Who would want to join that system?
But then, in the middle of playing this, the Trump cult retook the US. A load of real Nazis were immediately released from jail, because they were fashing for Donald. This was on day one! I was so happy escaping into the virtual world of Indiana Jones. The more I played the game, the more it became about getting one over them, as I lured them one by one into a corner and punched the hell out of them.
The joy of creeping through an encampment of fash and nicking stuff from their safes right under their noses was only matched by the euphoria I felt shoving one of them off the edge of a battleship stuck at the top of a Himalayan mountain.
Actually, I had so much fun knocking Nazis out with candlesticks that the rest of the game became a bit of a drag. That is why nobody wanted to be one, before Indiana Jones added Nazi-punching to the job description. The archaeological sections feel as if they take for ever though I am sure Elon Musk completes them in minutes, having paid someone else to do it for him. I also keep getting stuck halfway through opening doors, thanks to the clunky controls.
