Rather it is the negotiating of getting into them is what I find so trying. Perhaps my autism spectrum challenges are unique but if you are still reading this I suspect not. Unlike being 17 or 21, there are not a plethora of social spaces available not involving religion or alcohol. When you are 17, high school is full of social space. The social opportunities at 17 are near endless: clubs, dances, shared physical spaces of learning, and more. There is never a greater range socially.
As we age and either enter the workforce or college, new opportunities become available. Whether it be parties, social causes, trips, or co-workers. Fertile ground for friendships and relationships is abundant. This is not to minimize those of you reading this at these younger ages. Romantic entanglement entrance is never easy at any age. The anxiety remains as you age.
And while your career may be all you hoped for and more, something new has emerged within your social spaces. If your social spaces are anything like mine they are layered with suspicion and distance.
Somehow within the space between collegiate years and career, opportunities to date and develop friendship disappear. Not to mention that for centuries our species has not engaged in courtship rituals through this social process of instantaneous spark making. Whether it be through blind dates, friends of friends, or a good old fashioned parties.
As a 32 year old, I find the only ways to meet people are clubs which given my auditory and visual processing differences are difficult , bars which involve a fair amount of alcohol, and church which involves a fair amount of hypercharged beliefs about the unknown. None of these social environments lend themselves nicely to my own repetitive interests of mountain biking, rock climbing, running, developing proposals for social causes, or reading.
