Call: How could this happen? So many questions can fill your mind: When did this start? Why is my husband watching porn? What does he really think of me? Does he know how much this hurts me? Wives of porn addicts can experience a variety of feelings when they find out, from anger to hurt to shame and more.
Even so, if your husband is addicted to porn , you ideally want to help him heal from this addiction and restore your relationship moving forward. Perhaps your husband has even tried to implicate you subtly in this way during recent conflictsโeven shifting the blame for his addiction on you. Like a drug addict uses meth, heroin, or cocaine, a porn addict uses sex, masturbation, and porn to cope.
Your husband will ultimately need to take the responsibility of overcoming his porn addiction himself, but you can take steps to help him along the way. In order to help your husband recover well, you need to understand what porn addiction is all about. Considered an intimacy disorder and form of hypersexuality, porn addiction is the excessive consumption of pornography. This only leads to further distressโand further porn. Someone addicted to porn can get to the point where their addiction makes it difficult for them to participate in the normal activities of daily life.
Their addiction even can damage relationships and negatively impact their career. Hypersexuality and trauma are often interconnected, and this applies to porn addiction as well. Often, porn addiction develops as a response to unresolved past trauma. In an attempt to self-medicate the triggers and negative feelings associated with this trauma, your husband may have sought pornography to help him feel better in the moment.
In short, when watching porn, your brain releases an abnormally high amount of dopamineโthe pleasure chemicalโsignaling the experience as a reward. Consequently, you may seek out more porn in the future to achieve the same effect.
