Can shame be a good thing? Shame and guilt feel different emotionally, yet both involve situations where good feelings have turned bad. These emotions arise when something we do or say interferes with our interest in being seen by ourselves and others as competent, morally sound, or intelligent.
In general, the experience of shame involves a more intense turning inward to focus on defects within the self, while the emotion guilt involves a focus on the harm we have caused others combined with fear of punishment for our deeds.
Erroneously, we might consider pride to be the opposite of shame. The experience of pride a combination of positive emotion and memories arises with the thought that we have succeeded in some way. Alongside shame and guilt, pride provides us with internal feedback about meeting or violating our expectations, goals, or standards. Although pride leads to good feelings about the self and shame results in feeling bad, they are opposite only in terms of valence.
Shame is activated when there is a partial disruption or obstacle to continued interest or excitement; when someone or something interferes with good feelings we were having at a given moment.
The emotion motivates us to retreat or hide since cognitively it is experienced as a sense of inadequacy, unworthiness, or as being inherently flawed. However, it also motivates us to restore a broken bond, lost connection, or good feeling.
