March 24th marks World Tuberculosis Day. Tuberculosis is an infectious disease usually caused by Mycobacterium tuberculosis MTB bacteria. It most commonly affects the lungs, but it can also strike in the bones and other organs. TB vaccinations given in school were largely ineffective, sadly you can still catch TB even if you had the jab. In the UK we are lucky that treatment is available and it is absolutely curable. But it is still not much fun.
If you breathe in this bacteria, the disease can then set up home in your body. You cannot transmit latent TB to others, and unless it becomes active it will not affect you in any way. I wanted to share my experience with you to raise awareness about the challenges facing TB patients, and to tell you about how TB treatment also changed the way I drank. I was working in a job that was destroying me, managing a brewery taproom and event space with my best friend. Hours were grueling, and the job had seeped its way into every corner of my life.
Not binging, but there would always be some beer going in, whether it was a few sips of the latest creation from the brew team, or commiserating another miserable day with a half after work.
It felt as though I was giving my entire self to this job, to be constantly met with a lack of support from the business owners, and to be told repeatedly how useless and disappointing I was. I was depressed and anxious to a point where I could no longer make simple decisions. I felt like I was drowning in my own self-loathing, and nothing was going to pull me out. I was constantly afraid, nervous, and miserable. I kept making attempts to change things, to fix my behaviour. I had a very clear image in my head of the person I wanted to be, she was healthy and happy.
My diary was a list of bullet points; how my body felt, what had happened at work, units and calories consumed, and how much I wished I could just disappear. It was the checklist of a person on the cusp of a breakdown.
