I have had a lot of dumb ideasβ traipsing around in a red-carpet gown for a week, watching Sex and the City for the first time , mixing a bunch of lipsticks together to match five uber-lipsticks βbut this has got to be the worst. By far. As with certain current events , it all started with Taylor Swift.
After the video for "Bad Blood" was released and I read about from whence the wardrobe department sourced those slinky tops , I was like, "Pssssshh. You know what would be harder than wearing bondage to fire missile launchers at your enemies? Wearing bondage to work. Lauren looks very naughty librarian, no? When you make the grave mistake of doing a fetish-clothing story in July, you receive a free education in the laws of fluid dynamics.
The sweat doesn't absorb then dry like it does when you wear other fabricsβit collects, traveling in sheets like those that circulate along the walls of Slurpee machines or the ones they have at Shake Shack that stir lemonade so the pulp doesn't settle.
This is me trying not to melt. Get exclusive access to fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Besides the problem of releasing the equivalent of Victoria Falls every time you peel your top away from your skin, there's the noiseβa creak when you walk, a wet-sounding squelch when you uncross your legsβand the smell, which lingers for approximately two days after you've unrolled that cursed jet-black sausage casing from your talc-dusted limbs for the day.
The baby powder is supposed to reduce the friction so that it only takes 15 minutes to put on a catsuit instead of This is not an exaggeration. Doing some very important mapping. Catsuit, Syren; jacket, Aritzia; sneakers, Nike.
