Estimated reading time: 13 minutes. They insisted that men and women can be friends. I disagree. God wants us to have friends.
He wants us to be in relationship with one another. Our marriages need community. And I believe that can include opposite-sex friendships. But those friendships should come with some pretty important stipulations. That can get you into trouble in a hurry.
Opposite-sex friendships should be casual friendships: Your time together is infrequent, an d when you do see each other, you are guided by strong boundaries that you and your spouse have previously agreed to see below. Second—and really, this should go without saying — those friendships should be completely out in the open.
No secrets. No sneaking or skulking around. Third, not only should your spouse know , but your spouse should bless the friendship. You need to give your husband or wife a relational trump card. If they feel like the relationship is a problem, then guess what: It is. Never tell your spouse that he or she is paranoid or jealous.
Talk it through. If friendship is a problem, you should end it immediately. And trust me, I know all about how these talks can go wrong. Twice in our marriage, Erin has come to me with concerns about my friendships with female co-workers neither of whom worked at Focus on the Family, by the way.
