Eight years ago this month, hookup apps came out of the closet and started a sexual revolution that changed the world. When Grindr burst on the scene in March , online cruising leapt from laptop computers to the palm of your hand. If you believe the hype, gay romance died with the very first download.
True, hookup websites were long part of gay culture, ranging from s AOL chatrooms to Gay. But Grindr gamified the thrill of the hunt in real time and real space with geosourcing networking. Now your next big thing could be as close as 10 feet away. Grindr eliminated all the awkwardness and pretense of first dates, as well as all the chasing and waiting of closing time hookups.
Shopping for sexual partners quickly became as easy as shopping for any other consumer product. Gay men slowly mastered the art of being multipresent: navigating an above-the-line existence in the real world, while simultaneously exploring a below-the-line existence in a stigma-free, sex-positive world of brutally honest browsing. Since the days of hankie codes and tearoom trades, hookup culture has always been part of gay identity. So why were hookup apps such a big deal? It meant semi-anonymous sex was no longer dirty, scary or shameful.
Looking for love online has been normalized. Social historians believe that apps like Grindr have finally liberated LGBTQ youth from the internalized homophobia that haunted past generations.
Hookups were once the alternative to serious dating. I suspect that underneath that need for newness is the old idea that the grass is always greener elsewhere.
