The Marne is a lazy river. An eastern tributary of the Seine in the northeast of France, it dawdles for languid miles around meanders so extravagant that several have been bypassed by canalisation.
As we putter along at 5mph, all is peacefully serene, yet the Marne region has a rich and troubled history, not least two key First World War battles. If you look closely, the scars of the destruction that took place can be found everywhere, from village cenotaphs to memorials and shell-pocked masonry. Accommodating a maximum of 22 people, the 11 cabins are on the snug side of compact, with twin beds, a shower room and two windows 6in above the waterline.
The headroom is not ideal for the taller person — I am 5ft 7in and can put my hand flat on the ceiling — but it is better in the communal areas. The current preference for a neutral colour scheme has been eschewed in favour of s retro, with deep purple and vibrant forest-fire orange. There is a lounge with comfortable velvet sofas and a bar; a dining room, which on our cruise has one large communal table; a small outside area with cafe-style tables and chairs, and a Jacuzzi sadly out of use on our trip ; and a large sundeck on top, where, weather permitting, you can lie back, watch the scenery and wave at irate anglers as you drift by.
Tranquillity is the order of the week. We are passing places where no tourist has seemingly gone before: Oeuilly pop: , St-Jean-les Deux-Jumeaux 1, and the aptly named Dormans 2, , where we moor for the night and walk to the centre of town, only to find that it has the air of a zombie apocalypse.
All we encounter is a lone ginger cat. Another highlight is our tour of one of the smaller champagne houses. Over the week, our bond as a group is strengthened by our appreciation of the food particularly the spectacular cheeses and wine on offer on the all-inclusive trip.
