The first time I dropped out of school, it was so that my brother could continue his education. My family could only afford the tuition fees for one of us at the time. The second time I dropped out, it was so that I could take care of my husband and become a mother. In both cases, the needs and potential of the men in my life were treated as more important than my own. Coming from a Somali community, this is just the norm. Girls will be made to marry between the ages of Growing up, I was used to seeing these marriages happen around me, but I never thought it was going to be my fate.
I always believed that I would never get married young because I needed to finish school, go to university, and do my own things. The agreement to marry me off happened while I was in my first year of high school at a boarding school. My classmates were whispering behind my back and pointing fingers. Then two of my very close friends told me the news: I was married. They knew how much I valued school. When I got home from school and could finally ask my parents, they confirmed the rumors.
They told me I would not be going back to school. It crushed me and there was nothing I could do about it. At the time, I was still 15 years old. I did not know anything about being a wife. I never even had a boyfriend. There was nothing she or I could do, and we did not have a choice. Every human being has a choice in life. And for you, you are my mother. You have every right to say no because I am your child.
I became a single mother in when my husband died in an accident. Raising children, especially girls, as an unmarried woman in a refugee camp is one of the toughest things I have ever done in my life. I had to be strong to protect them, lead them, and to fight cultural norms. Everyone constantly undermined me because I am a woman, but I stayed firm. They need to have quality education. They need to do whatever they feel like doing. They have the right.
In Kakuma refugee camp, early marriage and pregnancy are common challenges that girls face, just like I did. That's a big concern that I see in the camp. I have seen firsthand the deep inequities between the genders, and I have learned important life lessons to overcome it.
