From to , I worked as a professional dominatrix at three commercial dungeons in New York City. I was still a teenager when I started. A few of the things I learnedโand also a few of the things I had to un-learnโas a dominatrix, have proved valuable in other jobs, and in other parts of my life. Verbalizing his truthโhow he really felt, what he really wantedโput him at risk of rejection, or perhaps worse, being laughed at.
For some people, that risk is too frightening. This kind of interaction happens all the time, in any relationship. To let people in, I have to let down my guard. To get a good laugh, all you need to do is ask a New York lawyer what legally constitutes sexual conduct.
This point is especially apparent when it comes to unusual fetishes. However, I never had a typical client demographic that otherwise differed much from that of the greater New York City male population I rarely had female clients, which is another can of worms.
I saw guys from a huge variety of economic backgrounds, nationalities, and ethnicities, with all sorts of career paths, social group affiliations, political leanings, and religions. Some were douchebags; some were sweethearts. Some were shyโand others chatted up every person they encountered on the way in, talked through the entire session to me as well as on their phones, and asked to be paraded down the streets of Manhattan in pink tutus.
Some were virgins; some were married with children. Some were out, and some were paranoid about being identified to the point of wearing sunglasses through their sessionsโwell, one guy did that. The men I saw walk through the dungeon doors represented all walks of life.
