A weekly dispatch full of the latest stories, newsroom news and events. You can choose the Dublin city version, or the Fingal version. Either way, we'll also send you a full article from our archive every Sunday. Is it that different to going home with someone after a night out? And even if you have all the conversations with your partner and use protection and all that responsible stuff, sometimes you can just get unlucky, or have sex with a lying asshole, and so the only safe thing to do is to assume that everyone has an STI and proceed accordingly by taking all the precautions you can β while not being so obsessive and paranoid that you take the fun out of the whole thing.
Frankly, I think the same attitude applies to having casual sex generally. You have to be aware of the risks and be sensible, while also accepting that some things are just out of your control. Yes, statistics and the world are depressing.
Thanks, Patriarchy! But I think you can be smart about the risks without ruining the mood completely. And generally, it involves meeting them in person, letting someone know where you are, and also judging how your potential sex partner reacts to you wanting to feel safe. Always and forever amen. And not just for safety reasons, but for basic attraction reasons. Is this a foolproof way of judging whether someone is a murderer or not?
Pick your most open-minded, non-judgmental friend and get them to be your safety wingperson. Finally, make sure you have an exit route. And you get to assume that your potential sex partner will do the same if they come to yours. If someone comes back to your place and for whatever reason you decide you want them to leave β they have to leave. Do you have any advice on how to handle this problem? The reality, by the way, is that on average, most men last between three and eight minutes before ejaculating.
Because the diagnosis is based in dissatisfaction around the length of time the person lasts β but is being defined by someone else. And those standards and expectations of yours, by the way? They seem fairly limited. You say yourself that your new man is generous when it comes to oral sex and foreplay β do you know how many women would love that? Frankly, it seems like the problem may not be your partner, but your desire to prioritise a very limited aspect of your sex life, and your staggering lack of imagination.
