By: Kenna Cook October 19, Why is it so difficult to find a beautiful dominatrix in the Sacramento area? Have any tips? In terms of finding a dominatrix in Sacramento, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself to find a great top for your bottom:. Are you looking for someone who you explore fantasies and fetishes with or someone to be in a relationship and possible power dynamic with? A power dynamic can be part of a romantic relationship or it can be the entirety of the relationship with no romantic entanglement.
All dominatrixes, or dommes, have different areas of expertise — from rope bondage to pain and impact to humiliation. It is important to identify your wants and needs so you can find your best match. You can look for people that are interested in your interests and write up a good description on your profile page of what you want to explore — all while keeping your anonymity intact with a pseudonym username. A good domme costs good money. Dommes take pride in what they do because sex work is real work.
Sacramento is a much smaller community for kink, and it is much harder to find without turning to the internet and word-of-mouth for details. Content warning: This section has graphic descriptions of sexual assault and disassociation. I was culturally conditioned to believe that catcalls would be part of my daily life, starting in middle school. After the downpour of sexual assault survivors speaking up about their diverse assaults in the past week to offer solidarity to others, it is crucial that I share my story with Sacramento folks so they know they can turn to me for support and solace.
It is important to me to protect others. It is vital for me to speak my truth. I was brand new to the kink scene—meaning that I had never participated in anything other than bedroom BDSM, and I was eager to meet more people and try out public play and explore my exhibitionism. I was coerced into allowing complete strangers to perform oral sex on me. I had at least three men—including the owner of the dungeon space—put their hands and mouths on and inside of my body while I was in a dissociative episode.
After that night, I blamed myself for what happened. I told myself that if it was really sexual assault, the people watching would have stopped it. This was victim-blaming. This was gaslighting. This was why I left the local kink scene and abandoned my FetLife profile for months. Consent violations can happen in spaces that are supposed to be the most sexually progressive and sex-positive. I am going to help others stay safe. Here is a list of the BDSM spaces in Sacramento are creating a safe, consent-centered spaces, because our community is too small—and too many sexual assaults have already happened in it.
