No Strings Attached. Few expressions better capture the modern view of sex. Which means that, despite their obvious respectability as philosophers and social commentators, the Spice Girls got it exactly wrong when they sang,. They were knowingly or unknowingly articulating a very, very old view of sex as something that has deep soul-level power; the very opposite of No Strings Attached. Both of these songs come from the s when few could have predicted how much mammalian activity would be enabled by the onset of hookup apps, so that now, more than ever, sex is mainly about fulfilling your appetites.
For one thing, it was not so long ago that sex was inextricably bound up with making babies. Your community kept you accountable. But that has changed: it is hard to exaggerate the effects of widespread contraception available since the s in separating the act of sex from its natural, biological consequence. This has had a profound effect on how we think about sex, at a deep philosophical level.
It used to be the case that only the rich or powerful could bed whoever they wanted, for the simple reason that they could get away with it. But contraception democratised the seeming freedom of sex-without-responsibility, and turned sex into a momentary act rather than a life-changing decision. Another reason can be given. The secularisation of the West has been a potent force here. If your religion says sex is a sacred act with the power to bind souls, that view might linger for a little while after you have cast off religious restraint, but eventually it dies.
And so, we have landed in a new era. Did I mention that? And you can try someone else tomorrow. And there are no babies. And nobody else need ever find out. All of this rests on the assumption that sex can be No Strings Attached. But can it? The subject of so many sitcoms and low budget movies, we might be tempted to downplay how destructive this kind of rejection is for the soul.
But consider, how many times can you get the cold shoulder from a hookup and not suffer some kind of erosion on the inside? I mean serious psychological harm. It seems we have more compassion and understanding for dogs abandoned on the street than we do for ourselves, since we are willing to subject ourselves to relentless and repeated experiences of being discarded.
