Skip navigation! Last Updated September 26, , PM. So it just makes sense that on the other side of all these stressors, on a cocktail of hormones that suits me after some trial and error, I find myself more fit, better rested, calmer, and happier than ever.
I also feel sexy AF. Sexier than ever before. Sexier, I swear, than I did in my 20s, 30s, or 40s. We know how to ask for it. We know each moment counts and are ready to savor each delicious drop of life. Sure, decreasing estrogen levels affect vaginal dryness and elasticity, but Betty Dodson proves that with the help of a little lube, toe-curling orgasms are available into your 90s.
I wanted to test drive my new confidence and the data suggesting that sexy can be forever. I also wanted the frisson of flirtation and the thrill of seduction, without the follow-through. But how? And then a sex therapist I know told me of her female patients in midlife who go on dating apps just for the swiping, fun, and validation.
No follow through β just matching and messaging. Sign me up! This would get me what I was looking for. And give clues to whether actual males who gaze are necessarily complicit with the Male Gaze that tells us the cut off for female sexiness is something like Lumen β Not So Incandescent. I looked into Lumen , the dating app marketed to the plus crowd the average user is 56; the oldest is These are my people! I uploaded some shots me in shorts and a sunhat, in a bikini, wearing a scuba mask.
Then I crafted a profile to head off confusion at the pass. Most of the guys were in their 60s; many were retired. Otherwise they were a diverse group in terms of race, ethnicity, career, and desires. Props, dude. I immediately deleted a self-described male chauvinist, because WHY? I told him and an oil platform operator that I sought conversation, and I asked them about their Lumen experiences. They and other men I eventually asked admitted it could be rough; they felt the odds were against them men in the aggregate do in fact tend to get less action on dating apps than women do.
